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_92.webp "A married man says he became “obsessed” with another woman after meeting her at a course - but his wife has since forgiven him after realising it “wasn’t his fault”.<br/><br/>Ruth Perl, 58, and her husband David, 64, have spent 13 years recovering from the incident.<br/><br/>David never acted on his feelings towards the person he fancied - but he chose to tell the woman after confiding in Ruth.<br/><br/>He started researching an emotional experience known as ‘limerence’ - which means intrusive, romantic thoughts about another person. <br/><br/>David realised his feelings were unwanted - he had no control over them and wasn't interested in beginning an affair with the woman. <br/><br/>After telling Ruth about his realisation, the couple spent time rebuilding their relationship - and say they’re happier than ever.<br/><br/>David, a couples’ therapist from St. Albans, Herts., said: “It wasn’t a normal crush, it was weird and disturbing - but we’ve put in the years to heal ourselves since.<br/><br/>“It was a difficult one - I did end up telling the other person, as I was encouraged to do so through therapy.<br/><br/>“I think she was horrified - in hindsight, it was really unfair to put that on her.<br/><br/>“But it’s all about forgiveness, we’ve done the work and are happier than ever.”<br/><br/>David met the woman he developed feelings for on January 14, 2011 - after chatting to her at a training course.<br/><br/>Their conversation lasted less than 20 minutes, but David could feel he was “besotted” by her - without being able to put a finger on why.<br/><br/>“I’ve had crushes before,” he added. “We both have. But nothing like this - this was really unusual.”<br/><br/>David thought about her, night-and-day, for weeks.<br/><br/>He looked online at forums about “obsessive love” - and came across a post about limerence.<br/><br/>He said: “I thought, 'jeez, this is what I’ve got to a T.'<br/><br/>“Something’s not right - I was absolutely obsessed and I only spoke to her for 20 minutes.<br/><br/>“I kept going over every single word she said to me, every little action.<br/><br/>“The moment I’d wake up, I’d rehearse in my head what I might say to her if she came up to talk to me.<br/><br/>“I’d experience soaring highs if she replied to an email - and extreme lows if she didn’t.<br/><br/>“It was like an intermittent reward.”<br/><br/>Knowing the feeling wasn’t going to go away any time soon, he decided to tell Ruth - who also works as a couples’ therapist.<br/><br/>She said: “David told me, and this was all going on about five days after my dad’s funeral.<br/><br/>“I was in horrific grief at the time, and so my first thoughts were: ‘Oh, for god’s sake. How can you be so bloody stupid?’<br/><br/>“My dad had just died, and my husband wanted to p*ss off into fantasy land.<br/><br/>“We went into freefall, and it was a very, very difficult 12 months.”<br/><br/>After choosing to concentrate on grieving for her dad for a year, Ruth says she “finally had the brain capacity” to sit down with David, and ask him what was going on.<br/><br/>He hadn’t acted on his feelings - and actively decided he wouldn’t “consummate” the crush.<br/><br/>“David reached out to me,” Ruth said. “He asked me, ‘please help me understand what’s going on.’<br/><br/>“He was so confused. I asked him if he still wanted to be married, and he said, ‘I don’t want to throw away what we’ve got.’<br/><br/>“I told him to sit in the confusion, and I’d do what I could to support him.<br/><br/>“But I knew that what will be will be, we might not necessarily make it out of this.”<br/><br/>David said: “We started having marriage counselling - and one thing I want to stress is it isn’t an excuse to cheat.<br/><br/>“I was responsible for what I did - but it did make me realise that often, people don’t set out to have an affair.”<br/><br/>David explored some of the ways therapists encourage people to “heal” from limerence - including starving themselves from contact, or consummating it with the other person.<br/><br/>He settled on going to therapy, and letting the woman know he couldn’t speak to her anymore.<br/><br/>Now, David and Ruth help other couples going through the same thing - and have taught their children, Hannah-Mai, 32, and Isobel, 29, how to value their own relationships.<br/><br/>Ruth said: “It was important our two daughters knew about all this.<br/><br/>“They were older teenagers when this was all going on, and they understood it.<br/><br/>“We thought it was very important for them to understand that all marriages have differences - but you don’t throw the towel in when the going gets tough.<br/><br/>“Even when you’re talking about a full-blown physical affair. Once is a mistake, twice is a habit.”")
_conan-hangs-out-with-his-interns-124-conan-on-tbs.webp "Team Coco")
_first-night-romance-whatshap-status-sexy-sex-romance-status-by-new-status-chanel.webp "New Status")
_charlie-goldsmith-bengals-2024-draft-preview-124-jungle-roar.webp "CINCINNATI -- The Bengals will have a big decision to make when they select 18th overall in the first round Thursday night in the 2024 NFL draft. But what will they do on Days 2 and 3 of the draft on Friday and Saturday? What is their approach? What does recent history teach us about what they might do? Charlie Goldsmith of the Cincinnati Enquirer joins Trags to discuss all things Bengals on the latest episode of the Jungle Roar Podcast.<br/><br/>Welcome to CLNS Media's Cincinnati Sports Studio, your ultimate hub for everything sports in the Queen City! We bring you in-depth analysis, exclusive interviews, and breaking news covering your beloved Cincinnati Bengals and Cincinnati Reds. As passionate fans ourselves, we understand the heartbeat of the Cincy sports community and aim to keep you ahead of the game with accurate and timely information!")
_intern-year-day-1-expectation-vs-reality.webp "Doc Schmidt")
_the-results-of-100-internship-applications.webp "Cedric Vicera")
_woman39s-rare-39sleeping-beauty39-condition-sees-her-snooze-every-four-hours.webp "**COPYRIGHT MUSIC**<br/><br/>A woman has a rare 'Sleeping Beauty' condition which sees her snooze every four hours - forcing her to nap in nightclubs and even during her grandma's funeral.<br/><br/>Justice Collins, 28, has to take up to six naps a day due to the rare disorder called narcolepsy - which causes periods of involuntary sleep.<br/><br/>She was diagnosed aged 18 after years of struggling to stay awake in school and nodding off during class.<br/><br/>Justice would try everything to stay awake including \")
_the-white-house-to-pay-interns-for-the-first-time-in-history.webp "Yahoo Finance")
_software-engineer-interns-on-their-first-day-be-like.webp "Frying Pan")
_fmr-opp-senator-beaten-robbed.webp "Businesswoman, politician and animal activist, Jowelle De Souza was beaten, tied up and robbed in her home inSan Fernando Wednesday night.<br/><br/><br/>The assailants stole a safe and were able to escape before police arrived at the scene.<br/><br/><br/>De Souza spoke with our reporter Cindy Raghubar-Teekersingh today, giving a first-hand account of the ordeal.")
_july-1st-interns-you-got-this-part-2-tipsfornewdocs-residency-medschooltips.webp "MarcKatzMD")
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_cuddy39s-secret-124-house-m-d.webp "House M.D.")
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