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_92.webp "A married man says he became “obsessed” with another woman after meeting her at a course - but his wife has since forgiven him after realising it “wasn’t his fault”.<br/><br/>Ruth Perl, 58, and her husband David, 64, have spent 13 years recovering from the incident.<br/><br/>David never acted on his feelings towards the person he fancied - but he chose to tell the woman after confiding in Ruth.<br/><br/>He started researching an emotional experience known as ‘limerence’ - which means intrusive, romantic thoughts about another person. <br/><br/>David realised his feelings were unwanted - he had no control over them and wasn't interested in beginning an affair with the woman. <br/><br/>After telling Ruth about his realisation, the couple spent time rebuilding their relationship - and say they’re happier than ever.<br/><br/>David, a couples’ therapist from St. Albans, Herts., said: “It wasn’t a normal crush, it was weird and disturbing - but we’ve put in the years to heal ourselves since.<br/><br/>“It was a difficult one - I did end up telling the other person, as I was encouraged to do so through therapy.<br/><br/>“I think she was horrified - in hindsight, it was really unfair to put that on her.<br/><br/>“But it’s all about forgiveness, we’ve done the work and are happier than ever.”<br/><br/>David met the woman he developed feelings for on January 14, 2011 - after chatting to her at a training course.<br/><br/>Their conversation lasted less than 20 minutes, but David could feel he was “besotted” by her - without being able to put a finger on why.<br/><br/>“I’ve had crushes before,” he added. “We both have. But nothing like this - this was really unusual.”<br/><br/>David thought about her, night-and-day, for weeks.<br/><br/>He looked online at forums about “obsessive love” - and came across a post about limerence.<br/><br/>He said: “I thought, 'jeez, this is what I’ve got to a T.'<br/><br/>“Something’s not right - I was absolutely obsessed and I only spoke to her for 20 minutes.<br/><br/>“I kept going over every single word she said to me, every little action.<br/><br/>“The moment I’d wake up, I’d rehearse in my head what I might say to her if she came up to talk to me.<br/><br/>“I’d experience soaring highs if she replied to an email - and extreme lows if she didn’t.<br/><br/>“It was like an intermittent reward.”<br/><br/>Knowing the feeling wasn’t going to go away any time soon, he decided to tell Ruth - who also works as a couples’ therapist.<br/><br/>She said: “David told me, and this was all going on about five days after my dad’s funeral.<br/><br/>“I was in horrific grief at the time, and so my first thoughts were: ‘Oh, for god’s sake. How can you be so bloody stupid?’<br/><br/>“My dad had just died, and my husband wanted to p*ss off into fantasy land.<br/><br/>“We went into freefall, and it was a very, very difficult 12 months.”<br/><br/>After choosing to concentrate on grieving for her dad for a year, Ruth says she “finally had the brain capacity” to sit down with David, and ask him what was going on.<br/><br/>He hadn’t acted on his feelings - and actively decided he wouldn’t “consummate” the crush.<br/><br/>“David reached out to me,” Ruth said. “He asked me, ‘please help me understand what’s going on.’<br/><br/>“He was so confused. I asked him if he still wanted to be married, and he said, ‘I don’t want to throw away what we’ve got.’<br/><br/>“I told him to sit in the confusion, and I’d do what I could to support him.<br/><br/>“But I knew that what will be will be, we might not necessarily make it out of this.”<br/><br/>David said: “We started having marriage counselling - and one thing I want to stress is it isn’t an excuse to cheat.<br/><br/>“I was responsible for what I did - but it did make me realise that often, people don’t set out to have an affair.”<br/><br/>David explored some of the ways therapists encourage people to “heal” from limerence - including starving themselves from contact, or consummating it with the other person.<br/><br/>He settled on going to therapy, and letting the woman know he couldn’t speak to her anymore.<br/><br/>Now, David and Ruth help other couples going through the same thing - and have taught their children, Hannah-Mai, 32, and Isobel, 29, how to value their own relationships.<br/><br/>Ruth said: “It was important our two daughters knew about all this.<br/><br/>“They were older teenagers when this was all going on, and they understood it.<br/><br/>“We thought it was very important for them to understand that all marriages have differences - but you don’t throw the towel in when the going gets tough.<br/><br/>“Even when you’re talking about a full-blown physical affair. Once is a mistake, twice is a habit.”")
_leafa-could-not-resist-getting-abused-by-tentacles-124-sao-alicization-war-of-underworld-season-2.webp "Anime Epic")
⏲ 3 minutes 11 seconds 👁 2M
_leafa39s-painful-death-124-sword-art-online-alicization-war-of-underworld-part-2.webp "Anime Epic")
⏲ 2 minutes 13 seconds 👁 518.4K
_swedish-firm-aira-launches-sheffield-39centre-of-excellence39-to-train-new-heat-pump-installers.webp "A new training academy to develop the heat pump installers of the future has opened in Sheffield.<br/>Swedish clean energy firm Aira, which is seeking to create 8,000 jobs in the UK over the next decade as part of its expansion plans into this country, has established a training facility on the White Rose Business Park in Halfway.<br/><br/>The site is next to home renewable specialist All Seasons Energy, which Aira purchased last year.<br/><br/>It is hoped the Sheffield training facility will become a Northern “centre of excellence” for training dozens of new heat pump specialists in the coming years, with plans to open a similar site in the south of England.<br/><br/>An initial pilot scheme involving four apprentices hired by Aira and in partnership with Rotherham College and North Notts College is starting from the site.<br/><br/>Academy manager Sarah Stevens said two technician apprentices and two electrician apprentices have been hired who will leanr on the job assisted by mentors and also do one day a week at college. Their roles will start from September and it will take around three years to fully qualify.<br/><br/>\")
⏲ 1:58 👁 4.6M
_mutsusume-tentacle-wrap.webp "Wantedtentacles")
_leafa-versus-d-i-l-sword-art-online-alicization-war-of-underworld.webp "Haruhiro Ichijo")
_chicago-fire-just-added-a-hallmark-star-and-we-are-pumped.webp "Following Kara Killmer’s exit on \")
_leafa-l39ha-sentito-nella-patata.webp "Del Empty")
_leafa-kills-dee-eye-ell-and-saves-lilpilin-sao-aliciziation-war-of-underworld-part-2.webp "geerthi")
⏲ 1 minute 19 seconds 👁 34.4K
_crawley-town-fans-get-their-mk-dons-play-off-semi-final-tickets.webp "Crawley Town Season ticket holders and CTSA members were able to buy their tickets for Monday’s League Two play-off semi-final first leg tie against MK Dons today – and some queued for two hours to make the purchase. Reds will face the Dons on Monday, May 6 at 3pm before travelling to Milton Keynes on Thursday (8pm kick off). And fans could not wait to get their hands on the tickets for the club’s first ever play-off game, which is expected to be a sell-out. And if the Reds win over the two legs, it will result in their first ever trip to Wembley on Sunday, May 19.")
_sword-art-online.webp "Layuzaki")
_sao-leafa-gets-captured-by-dee-eye-ell.webp "Anime X Life")
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